Where I’m going…

There I am, walking endlessly, to a nonspecific location when and where I bump in to her, my past.

Looking at her, my mind races in every direction. Ending up in the black and white part of my conscience.

Standing there under her gaze, a blind man could look for something to say easier than I could at the moment.

She says hey, my past that is. And just like that it comes to me. Like rhythm to music, like words to a poet. And after what seems like a two year long five seconds I say, fuuuuuck yooouuuuu!

I resumed my endless walking to a nonspecific location. But now with a narcotic sense of relief. Wierdly realizing, I’ve arrived at my destination…Closure

What is life if not spent with you…

What I wanted was always a recurring dream; a thought that crept into my mind right before I closed my eyes at night. It is something so easy for some and so hard for most to get or even come across. A life filled with love, passion or happiness if not all. There were many nights, mornings and even middle of the days spent wishing, hoping, wanting; dreaming. And with everything that has happened in my past, the good, the bad and the beautiful, somehow I managed to get what I’ve always wanted; what I dreamed of.  YOU


Sunday… It’s considered an end to most, a beginning to others. I consider it just another day I can spend thinking about you. You, my beginning,  my end, my forever…

As time goes by…

The sound of a annoying alarm clock.

8:26 am.

Fuck that. Snooze.

8:36 am.

Ahhh… Snooze.

8:46 am.

He wakes up. He goes through his morning ritual; teeth are brushed, clothes are laid out to eventually be put on, breakfast is made. Time to go…

9:22 am.

The car radio is turned to the news. The annoyingly chipper reporter is detailing the same traffic jam he’s stuck in from chopper five. The car horns and traffic sounds drown his intense screaming and cursing. He’s going to be late.

10:45 am.

He’s really fucking late. As he walks in, he tries to speed walk past his boss’s office. His boss sees him. Third time this week, his boss says. Fuck off, he mutters as he reaches his cubicle whithin a sea of cubicles.

12:15 pm.

He is being yelled at by the 9th dissatisfied customer today.  I just need your account number he says. The customer wants a manger. He transfers, but not before giving the middle finger to the phone.

1:25 pm.

Lunch time. He goes to the same table he always sits, after getting the same Ceaser salad he always eats, with the same view that he looks foward to everyday; Loren from accounting. Sittiting there with her curly brown hair and her beautiful smile.

1:58 pm.

Time to get back to the universe of cubicles and enddless asshole callers who always want to speak to a manager.

4:32 pm.

Time to go home. He gathers all his stuff and heads out to his car. As he walks to the door, he see her, Loren. Today is the day, he says to himself. He walks over and says hi. She says hi back. After small talk, he goes for it. Would you like to get something to drink sometime, he says. I would love to says Loren. After they exchange numbers, he heads out to his car. This time with a pep to his step. Today is a good day.

5:12 pm

He’s driving home, this time no traffic. His favorite song is playing on the radio; and the screaming and cursing from this morning is repalced by the lyrics of this awesome fucking song.

5:14 pm.

A truck runs a red light. It slams into his car… Everything goes black.

6:22 pm.

He opens his eyes. He’s in an ambulance. He sees the paramedics talking to him but he can’t hear them. He tries to talk back but he can’t speak. So he closes his eyes and he sees that view that he looks foward to everyday; Loren from accounting. Sittiting there with her curly brown hair and her beautiful smile.

Time of death,  6:29 pm.

A haiku for my dear sister…

Each day I miss you.

You are always in my heart.

Love is eternal.

A haiku for hard times…

Feeling like I’m trapped.

All the walls are closing in.

But there you are, hope…

Eyes and I…

the-blue-eye-silja-erg                                                                                                          Art by Silja Erg

And then I see her…With her big beautiful Disney blue eyes. And immediately I know that those are the eyes that I want to see for the rest of my life. Those are the eyes, so filled with love that I love…